well, not really. but i've been away for so long i feel like i should reintroduce myself. :)
suffice it to say, we've been a tad bit busy. (aren't we all, really?) and as i've said before, blogging sometimes seems like the most narcissistic thing in the world. i am quite aware that your worlds have turned steadily on as i've failed to blog and, one way or another, we've all made it to today.
congratulations, friend. :)
oh mercy, where to start. homeschooling has been such an incredible journey this past year. God has revealed SO. MUCH. in me that has needed to be refined and burned away. so much selfishness. so much ungratefulness. and while there are still rampant impurities, there is also a glimmer of proof that we're heading in the right direction. thank You GOD.
there have been so many things tumbling about in my mind these past few weeks. i've contemplated blogging about it all but i haven't known what to start with first. true confession here: i have several character flaws. (shocking, i'm sure.)
*i tend to procrastinate and i have adult a.d.d. (self-diagnosed, but still. i know. so does anyone else who REALLY knows me.)
*i have a hard time making decisions. big things, small things, makes no difference.
*i'm a people-pleaser and i tend to be very insecure as a result.
all of these contribute to my inability to just be honest and blog. but God is stirring up my heart and lovingly encouraging me to rest in Him and let go of these earthbound tendencies. i long for FREEDOM and "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom". (2 Cor. 3:17)
so, as i sort through blogging topics, those things that i feel God is pouring into my heart, i want to encourage you, sweet mama, to "throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles" and run, full on, without abandon, towards Jesus "the author and perfecter of our faith". (hebrews 12:1-3) and the only way we can do this, the only way we can know the "good, pleasing and perfect will" of God (romans 12:2) is by "fixing our eyes on Jesus".
at the beginning of every day, let us commit our schedules, our errands, our words, our every thought to the Lord. invite Him into every situation. ask Him to bathe our day in grace.
in every decision, big or small, pray "God, reveal to me Your perfect will". then make a choice. and TRUST Him. believe it or not, He can work with our dumb mistakes. (romans 8:28) SUCH a relief.
let us rest in the freedom He provides, through His Holy Spirit, to those who belong to Him.
let us go forth in boldness and confidence, assured that He will provide the words to speak, and the compassionate ears to hear, at just the right moment with just the right person.
that he would Divinely intervene in the midst of our day and He would give us the grace to know it, to see it and be THANKFUL for it.
that we would not be bound by fear of man (or woman) and be FREE to "live, and move and have our being" in the grace and mercy He abundantly provides.
that we would provide refreshment and grace for those we meet on our mutual journeys, no matter where we are in the process, valley or mountaintop. to refrain from judgment and scrutiny, and pray fervently for our fellow sisters in Christ as we strive to be the best wives, mamas, friends, daughters, and servants we can be. to love each other like crazy and embrace each other, flaws and all.
what a blessing you are to me, dear friends. love y'all.
"You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast
because they trust in You.
trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD, the LORD Himself
is the Rock eternal." psalm 26:3-4
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
where have the days gone?
my word, it's been over a month since i've blogged. forgive me. and since my head/throat/body hurts today - i conducted my first homeschool lessons from the couch today (good stuff.) - this isn't going to be anything to write home about either. :)
we are doing well as far as school is concerned. i had a major meltdown/freakout around week 3 (more to come in a future post), when reality slapped me in the mouth and i realized I REALLY WAS DOING THIS, but since then we've been okay. :) the girls and i are enjoying being together, learning things together, and making memories. we've found some really cool places to hang out and do our schoolwork when we're itching to get out of the house - the library is our fave place - and we have so many cool little coffeehouses, a benefit of living in a little college town, i guess. we've sketched self-portaits, hand-sewn homemade dolls just like laura and mary's in the "little house" series, and we're anxiously awaiting our first big field trip to the Adler Planetarium in Chicago to supplement our astronomy studies.
i often worry whether i'm doing enough, or covering the right subjects, or pushing too hard, or not pushing enough but i have been encouraged by other homeschooling moms that just being with my girls, encouraging their spiritual growth as well as their intellectual growth, and loving on them will always be enough.
well, this is brief but i'm hoping to devote more time to the blog in the near future. and now i'm going to take some more tylenol. :)
love you all,
jen
we are doing well as far as school is concerned. i had a major meltdown/freakout around week 3 (more to come in a future post), when reality slapped me in the mouth and i realized I REALLY WAS DOING THIS, but since then we've been okay. :) the girls and i are enjoying being together, learning things together, and making memories. we've found some really cool places to hang out and do our schoolwork when we're itching to get out of the house - the library is our fave place - and we have so many cool little coffeehouses, a benefit of living in a little college town, i guess. we've sketched self-portaits, hand-sewn homemade dolls just like laura and mary's in the "little house" series, and we're anxiously awaiting our first big field trip to the Adler Planetarium in Chicago to supplement our astronomy studies.
i often worry whether i'm doing enough, or covering the right subjects, or pushing too hard, or not pushing enough but i have been encouraged by other homeschooling moms that just being with my girls, encouraging their spiritual growth as well as their intellectual growth, and loving on them will always be enough.
well, this is brief but i'm hoping to devote more time to the blog in the near future. and now i'm going to take some more tylenol. :)
love you all,
jen
Sunday, August 28, 2011
a Good Book and a big day
ok seriously. i've been such a terrible blog owner. it makes me laugh everytime i see that i actually have "followers" cause, honestly, we ain't going nowhere fast right now, my friends. :)
there are so many topics/issues on which God is dealing with me right now that i can't even begin to choose one to write about. heck, i sat for 2 full minutes trying to think of a name for this singular blog post.
laaaaaame. :)
i have felt for the past few months that i am in a holding pattern of sorts and that is so hard for me. we've made some pretty bold choices in our family lately that have and will change the trajectory of our daily lives - i'm both excited and nervous as heck about those choices. knowing God has ordained each one but praying that i, in my flailing humanness, won't completely screw it up along the way. :) i know He will be faithful to complete the good work He has started in me (and you! phil 1:6) but it's the limbo, the waiting, the anxious anticipation of what comes next, that always gets me.
i have been listening a lot to my new favorite pastor, mark driscoll. (by the way, NOT affiliated with rob bell's mars hill.) in fact, it was this whole "controversy" (among others) that really made me start to think about what i TRULY believe and why. there are differing "opinions" out there, even amongst "christian" teachers, that make lies seem like truth and have the potential to lead people away from the faith. (hmmm. can we say "end times"??) i have always loved books and i love reading what Godly authors have to say about certain topics but God has really convicted me lately that there is only ONE book, ONE author who should dictate what i believe.
the Holy, Sovereign, inerrant, ever-timely, all-encompassing Word of God.
because ALL scripture (not just the verses that make you feel good.) is God-breathed (2 tim 3:16), i can trust it to be TRUE. because the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (hebrews 4:12), i can trust it to apply to me, today. THIS is the book to which i should devote the majority of my time. THIS is the book i should dive into in times of need, confusion, frustration, and desperation. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with reading Godly books by God-seeking people (but be sure you do your research first. there are a lot of goats out there, too. yikes.) but we need to make sure the Book that is most quoted, most worn out, most accessible, and most read is God's perfect Word.
so i will keep reading books. :) but whenever the Holy Spirit pricks my heart or i sense that check in my spirit i will immediately line it up to compare it and contrast it with the Word of God. and if something's off... i'm done.
*changing gears*
all that said, tomorrow's a big day in the crane house. it's our first day of homeschooling. mom's a little freaked. :) but excited. i equate it to impending childbirth... you know this is God's plan for you, you think you're ready, you're way so excited picking out stuff for the BIG DAY, you get a little nervous, you feel a little better, you have a complete meltdown in the car, and most days you just wish it would GET HERE ALREADY! :) well, it's tomorrow. the girls have asked what we're gonna do on the first day. i told them we'll hand out books and workbooks, take some time to get to know our classmates, i will need to learn all the students names, etc. :) they thought that was hilarious. :| "no, but moooom, what are we gonna learn first??"
the first thing i would like for them to learn is that God loves them with an everlasting love (jer 31:3) and that He has a super awesome plan for their lives.
the second thing i would like for them to learn is that their mom and daddy love them more than the air we breathe and we will do everything within our power to prove that to them and help them discover God's super awesome plan for their lives.
and then we'll learn math. :)
i hope.
i would be honored, sweet friends, if you would whisper even the slightest prayer for me and my girls tomorrow. i am eagerly anticipating a year of learning, laughing, and loving, peppered with some craziness, floundering about and a little ugly-crying. (and that's just from me. lol) can't wait to see what God has in store for ALL of us this school year and into 2012.
love you so much,
jen
there are so many topics/issues on which God is dealing with me right now that i can't even begin to choose one to write about. heck, i sat for 2 full minutes trying to think of a name for this singular blog post.
laaaaaame. :)
i have felt for the past few months that i am in a holding pattern of sorts and that is so hard for me. we've made some pretty bold choices in our family lately that have and will change the trajectory of our daily lives - i'm both excited and nervous as heck about those choices. knowing God has ordained each one but praying that i, in my flailing humanness, won't completely screw it up along the way. :) i know He will be faithful to complete the good work He has started in me (and you! phil 1:6) but it's the limbo, the waiting, the anxious anticipation of what comes next, that always gets me.
i have been listening a lot to my new favorite pastor, mark driscoll. (by the way, NOT affiliated with rob bell's mars hill.) in fact, it was this whole "controversy" (among others) that really made me start to think about what i TRULY believe and why. there are differing "opinions" out there, even amongst "christian" teachers, that make lies seem like truth and have the potential to lead people away from the faith. (hmmm. can we say "end times"??) i have always loved books and i love reading what Godly authors have to say about certain topics but God has really convicted me lately that there is only ONE book, ONE author who should dictate what i believe.
the Holy, Sovereign, inerrant, ever-timely, all-encompassing Word of God.
because ALL scripture (not just the verses that make you feel good.) is God-breathed (2 tim 3:16), i can trust it to be TRUE. because the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (hebrews 4:12), i can trust it to apply to me, today. THIS is the book to which i should devote the majority of my time. THIS is the book i should dive into in times of need, confusion, frustration, and desperation. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with reading Godly books by God-seeking people (but be sure you do your research first. there are a lot of goats out there, too. yikes.) but we need to make sure the Book that is most quoted, most worn out, most accessible, and most read is God's perfect Word.
so i will keep reading books. :) but whenever the Holy Spirit pricks my heart or i sense that check in my spirit i will immediately line it up to compare it and contrast it with the Word of God. and if something's off... i'm done.
*changing gears*
all that said, tomorrow's a big day in the crane house. it's our first day of homeschooling. mom's a little freaked. :) but excited. i equate it to impending childbirth... you know this is God's plan for you, you think you're ready, you're way so excited picking out stuff for the BIG DAY, you get a little nervous, you feel a little better, you have a complete meltdown in the car, and most days you just wish it would GET HERE ALREADY! :) well, it's tomorrow. the girls have asked what we're gonna do on the first day. i told them we'll hand out books and workbooks, take some time to get to know our classmates, i will need to learn all the students names, etc. :) they thought that was hilarious. :| "no, but moooom, what are we gonna learn first??"
the first thing i would like for them to learn is that God loves them with an everlasting love (jer 31:3) and that He has a super awesome plan for their lives.
the second thing i would like for them to learn is that their mom and daddy love them more than the air we breathe and we will do everything within our power to prove that to them and help them discover God's super awesome plan for their lives.
and then we'll learn math. :)
i hope.
i would be honored, sweet friends, if you would whisper even the slightest prayer for me and my girls tomorrow. i am eagerly anticipating a year of learning, laughing, and loving, peppered with some craziness, floundering about and a little ugly-crying. (and that's just from me. lol) can't wait to see what God has in store for ALL of us this school year and into 2012.
love you so much,
jen
Friday, July 22, 2011
your next big step
when i was growing up i loooooved the indiana jones movies. there were many memorable scenes (mmmmmmmmm...monkey brains) but one of my favorites by FAR was when indy approached a massive cavern and his challenge was to reach the other side. it was obviously humanly impossible for him to do it in his own power and it seemed hopeless that he would get to where he was going. i can relate.
i realize i've been neglectful in blogging lately. several reasons for this, the greatest of which would be that i have had too much going on in my brain and in my heart to even attempt to put it into words. i KNEW that when i started this that i would go through periods of inactivity, unmotivation, procrastination, insecurity, which would inhibit my posting from time to time. i also struggle with determining what may be too private to share with the blogging world. my hubby is an extremely private person - he's not a big fan of blogging - not for any reason other than he feels it exposes too much at times and leaves me vulnerable... he likes to protect me (from myself, mostly. lol) so sometimes (lately, for sure) i have hesitated in my posts - i want to be completely authentic but have felt lately that i wasn't at a point where i could be totally real without risking privacy and shirking submissiveness to my spouse altogether. which is why things have been quiet on the blog front lately. thanks for hanging in there with me. i love that about you. :)
i've been learning lately about how dependent i have been MY WHOLE LIFE on the opinions of others. i make decisions based on what others would think or how THEY would feel. whether it's choosing a parking spot, a line in the grocery store, where to sit in church, when or where i'm going to workout, what i'm going to wear on any given day, etc. it's ridiculous. i'm a people pleasure to the highest degree and while that isn't completely terrible in and of itself, it gets exhausting. i tend to overcommit myself, initially saying yes to everything and everyone, and find myself backing out due to double booking, overcommitment, anxiety, etc. i hate that i do this. hate hate hate it.
we've been praying about something in our house for the past few months. (i'll fill you in on specifics in a bit...) i KNOW that God has placed this in my heart (it is something that i've always said i would NEVER do - love that.), He's given me a vision and a desire to do it, girls are onboard, hubby is fully supportive but there was one thing, primarily, that was holding me back. WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WOULD THINK. how sad is that?
before i go on, that "thing" is that i am going to be homeschooling our girls this next year. and quite possibly the year after that, assuming they don't completely regress in their learning and become blubbering idiots in the next 9 months or so. :) there are NUMEROUS reasons as to why we've chosen this route, the greatest of which is the pure and simple fact that i love my kids, i'm blessed to be able to be home with them, and i am way geeked out over the superfun curriculum we'll be working on this year. :) so now that i've ripped that bandaid clean, let's continue on with the story.
i decided a few days ago that i would send a message to a few people explaining this decision and why we were doing what we were doing. not that they NEEDED to know but i was nervous that they wouldn't approve and wanted to let them know it was not due to our dissatisfaction with the schools, etc. so i start pulling up names on facebook and discover a couple are missing. i did some investigating and came to find out that they had deleted me a few months ago after i had made some political comments with which they didn't agree. (who me?? NOOOOOO...) so here i am, so concerned with others' opinions, the greatest deterrent to me fully committing to a HUGE family decision, discovering that they had taken me off their friends list MONTHS ago. (doesn't that just reek with irony??) i'm not gonna lie - i was hurt (it still stings a little) but i have to respect their decision and their opinion of me just as i would like for others to extend the same kindness to me. i CAN be a bit mouthy at times and i am MOST DEFINITELY resolved in my beliefs so i understand if it's more than people can handle :) my intention is NEVER to offend, never ever.
ok, so i tell that story because God has used that in a HUGE way in my life this week. i've GOT to fix my eyes on HIM and not the huge cloud of witnesses. i MUST throw off everything that hinders me from running this race with perseverance.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." hebrew 12:1-3
there is only ONE opinion that matters. there is only ONE to whom i am ultimately accountable.
so if you think about it, pray for our family as we begin this exciting new chapter in our lives - i welcome any questions and/or comments, especially encouraging ones like "you're awesome" and "i love you" :) i am nervous and excited and freaked out and peacefilled all at one time. and yet CONFIDENT that God has called me to do something crazy scary and nonsensical. *eek*
so back to indiana jones... remember how that scene ended? indy remembers the words of his father and takes a HUGE step of faith, literally sight unseen, onto a giant invisible rock bridge which carries him to the other side. i LOVE that. (ginormous spiritual metaphor, anyone?)
so here we go... let's do those hard things. listen to that still, small nudging in your heart. pray for boldness, fix your eyes on HIM and TAKE THAT STEP.
love you girls
jen
i realize i've been neglectful in blogging lately. several reasons for this, the greatest of which would be that i have had too much going on in my brain and in my heart to even attempt to put it into words. i KNEW that when i started this that i would go through periods of inactivity, unmotivation, procrastination, insecurity, which would inhibit my posting from time to time. i also struggle with determining what may be too private to share with the blogging world. my hubby is an extremely private person - he's not a big fan of blogging - not for any reason other than he feels it exposes too much at times and leaves me vulnerable... he likes to protect me (from myself, mostly. lol) so sometimes (lately, for sure) i have hesitated in my posts - i want to be completely authentic but have felt lately that i wasn't at a point where i could be totally real without risking privacy and shirking submissiveness to my spouse altogether. which is why things have been quiet on the blog front lately. thanks for hanging in there with me. i love that about you. :)
i've been learning lately about how dependent i have been MY WHOLE LIFE on the opinions of others. i make decisions based on what others would think or how THEY would feel. whether it's choosing a parking spot, a line in the grocery store, where to sit in church, when or where i'm going to workout, what i'm going to wear on any given day, etc. it's ridiculous. i'm a people pleasure to the highest degree and while that isn't completely terrible in and of itself, it gets exhausting. i tend to overcommit myself, initially saying yes to everything and everyone, and find myself backing out due to double booking, overcommitment, anxiety, etc. i hate that i do this. hate hate hate it.
we've been praying about something in our house for the past few months. (i'll fill you in on specifics in a bit...) i KNOW that God has placed this in my heart (it is something that i've always said i would NEVER do - love that.), He's given me a vision and a desire to do it, girls are onboard, hubby is fully supportive but there was one thing, primarily, that was holding me back. WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WOULD THINK. how sad is that?
before i go on, that "thing" is that i am going to be homeschooling our girls this next year. and quite possibly the year after that, assuming they don't completely regress in their learning and become blubbering idiots in the next 9 months or so. :) there are NUMEROUS reasons as to why we've chosen this route, the greatest of which is the pure and simple fact that i love my kids, i'm blessed to be able to be home with them, and i am way geeked out over the superfun curriculum we'll be working on this year. :) so now that i've ripped that bandaid clean, let's continue on with the story.
i decided a few days ago that i would send a message to a few people explaining this decision and why we were doing what we were doing. not that they NEEDED to know but i was nervous that they wouldn't approve and wanted to let them know it was not due to our dissatisfaction with the schools, etc. so i start pulling up names on facebook and discover a couple are missing. i did some investigating and came to find out that they had deleted me a few months ago after i had made some political comments with which they didn't agree. (who me?? NOOOOOO...) so here i am, so concerned with others' opinions, the greatest deterrent to me fully committing to a HUGE family decision, discovering that they had taken me off their friends list MONTHS ago. (doesn't that just reek with irony??) i'm not gonna lie - i was hurt (it still stings a little) but i have to respect their decision and their opinion of me just as i would like for others to extend the same kindness to me. i CAN be a bit mouthy at times and i am MOST DEFINITELY resolved in my beliefs so i understand if it's more than people can handle :) my intention is NEVER to offend, never ever.
ok, so i tell that story because God has used that in a HUGE way in my life this week. i've GOT to fix my eyes on HIM and not the huge cloud of witnesses. i MUST throw off everything that hinders me from running this race with perseverance.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." hebrew 12:1-3
there is only ONE opinion that matters. there is only ONE to whom i am ultimately accountable.
so if you think about it, pray for our family as we begin this exciting new chapter in our lives - i welcome any questions and/or comments, especially encouraging ones like "you're awesome" and "i love you" :) i am nervous and excited and freaked out and peacefilled all at one time. and yet CONFIDENT that God has called me to do something crazy scary and nonsensical. *eek*
so back to indiana jones... remember how that scene ended? indy remembers the words of his father and takes a HUGE step of faith, literally sight unseen, onto a giant invisible rock bridge which carries him to the other side. i LOVE that. (ginormous spiritual metaphor, anyone?)
so here we go... let's do those hard things. listen to that still, small nudging in your heart. pray for boldness, fix your eyes on HIM and TAKE THAT STEP.
love you girls
jen
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