well, we've made it through TWO WHOLE DAYS of homeschooling! :) i have to tell you, i was a nervous wreck monday morning. i had everything planned out for the day, had the girls do a few chores prior to our "day" starting, we took our first day of school pics (in our jammies, of course), had them each gather up their books and meet me at the kitchen table, we all sat down and... crickets. :/
"hello? mom?"
yes, ok, i'm here. open your books. which one? i don't know, that one. no wait, THAT one. let's start with that. oh good gosh...
i was so nervous! how great is that? we did start our day with prayer (which helped immensely!) and will be doing our Bible lesson first thing every morning. it's a kid's inductive Bible study by kay arthur and it's been awesome. we got rolling and, amazingly, the day just flew by. i have to remind myself that there's no way to cram everything i want us to do in one day - so we'll just come back the next day and try again. :) we enjoyed a picnic lunch on the back deck and then came back in to finish our day. the girls wrapped our first day up with some bike riding around the neighborhood (aka recess).
we enjoyed our first field trip today! a visit to the neighborhood library (exciting, i know.) and lunch out. came back and watched an episode of "the naked archaeologist" (don't worry - he's fully clothed) since we have just started our "Story of the World" curriculum and are starting at the beginning, around 10,000 BC. after we made our reallllly long time line on which to document historical events, we all took about an hour to chill and read independently (mom, too. so awesome.)
i know there will be days that are tough. i'm sure there will be moments i lock myself in my bathroom. for hours. but i KNOW that this is exactly what God would have me do at this moment in time and that's pretty exciting.
love you girls - stay tuned for more exciting updates such as "the crane girls study astronomy" and "mom gets stuck on 6th grade math" :)
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
a Good Book and a big day
ok seriously. i've been such a terrible blog owner. it makes me laugh everytime i see that i actually have "followers" cause, honestly, we ain't going nowhere fast right now, my friends. :)
there are so many topics/issues on which God is dealing with me right now that i can't even begin to choose one to write about. heck, i sat for 2 full minutes trying to think of a name for this singular blog post.
laaaaaame. :)
i have felt for the past few months that i am in a holding pattern of sorts and that is so hard for me. we've made some pretty bold choices in our family lately that have and will change the trajectory of our daily lives - i'm both excited and nervous as heck about those choices. knowing God has ordained each one but praying that i, in my flailing humanness, won't completely screw it up along the way. :) i know He will be faithful to complete the good work He has started in me (and you! phil 1:6) but it's the limbo, the waiting, the anxious anticipation of what comes next, that always gets me.
i have been listening a lot to my new favorite pastor, mark driscoll. (by the way, NOT affiliated with rob bell's mars hill.) in fact, it was this whole "controversy" (among others) that really made me start to think about what i TRULY believe and why. there are differing "opinions" out there, even amongst "christian" teachers, that make lies seem like truth and have the potential to lead people away from the faith. (hmmm. can we say "end times"??) i have always loved books and i love reading what Godly authors have to say about certain topics but God has really convicted me lately that there is only ONE book, ONE author who should dictate what i believe.
the Holy, Sovereign, inerrant, ever-timely, all-encompassing Word of God.
because ALL scripture (not just the verses that make you feel good.) is God-breathed (2 tim 3:16), i can trust it to be TRUE. because the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (hebrews 4:12), i can trust it to apply to me, today. THIS is the book to which i should devote the majority of my time. THIS is the book i should dive into in times of need, confusion, frustration, and desperation. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with reading Godly books by God-seeking people (but be sure you do your research first. there are a lot of goats out there, too. yikes.) but we need to make sure the Book that is most quoted, most worn out, most accessible, and most read is God's perfect Word.
so i will keep reading books. :) but whenever the Holy Spirit pricks my heart or i sense that check in my spirit i will immediately line it up to compare it and contrast it with the Word of God. and if something's off... i'm done.
*changing gears*
all that said, tomorrow's a big day in the crane house. it's our first day of homeschooling. mom's a little freaked. :) but excited. i equate it to impending childbirth... you know this is God's plan for you, you think you're ready, you're way so excited picking out stuff for the BIG DAY, you get a little nervous, you feel a little better, you have a complete meltdown in the car, and most days you just wish it would GET HERE ALREADY! :) well, it's tomorrow. the girls have asked what we're gonna do on the first day. i told them we'll hand out books and workbooks, take some time to get to know our classmates, i will need to learn all the students names, etc. :) they thought that was hilarious. :| "no, but moooom, what are we gonna learn first??"
the first thing i would like for them to learn is that God loves them with an everlasting love (jer 31:3) and that He has a super awesome plan for their lives.
the second thing i would like for them to learn is that their mom and daddy love them more than the air we breathe and we will do everything within our power to prove that to them and help them discover God's super awesome plan for their lives.
and then we'll learn math. :)
i hope.
i would be honored, sweet friends, if you would whisper even the slightest prayer for me and my girls tomorrow. i am eagerly anticipating a year of learning, laughing, and loving, peppered with some craziness, floundering about and a little ugly-crying. (and that's just from me. lol) can't wait to see what God has in store for ALL of us this school year and into 2012.
love you so much,
jen
there are so many topics/issues on which God is dealing with me right now that i can't even begin to choose one to write about. heck, i sat for 2 full minutes trying to think of a name for this singular blog post.
laaaaaame. :)
i have felt for the past few months that i am in a holding pattern of sorts and that is so hard for me. we've made some pretty bold choices in our family lately that have and will change the trajectory of our daily lives - i'm both excited and nervous as heck about those choices. knowing God has ordained each one but praying that i, in my flailing humanness, won't completely screw it up along the way. :) i know He will be faithful to complete the good work He has started in me (and you! phil 1:6) but it's the limbo, the waiting, the anxious anticipation of what comes next, that always gets me.
i have been listening a lot to my new favorite pastor, mark driscoll. (by the way, NOT affiliated with rob bell's mars hill.) in fact, it was this whole "controversy" (among others) that really made me start to think about what i TRULY believe and why. there are differing "opinions" out there, even amongst "christian" teachers, that make lies seem like truth and have the potential to lead people away from the faith. (hmmm. can we say "end times"??) i have always loved books and i love reading what Godly authors have to say about certain topics but God has really convicted me lately that there is only ONE book, ONE author who should dictate what i believe.
the Holy, Sovereign, inerrant, ever-timely, all-encompassing Word of God.
because ALL scripture (not just the verses that make you feel good.) is God-breathed (2 tim 3:16), i can trust it to be TRUE. because the Word of God is living and active and sharper than any double-edged sword (hebrews 4:12), i can trust it to apply to me, today. THIS is the book to which i should devote the majority of my time. THIS is the book i should dive into in times of need, confusion, frustration, and desperation. there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with reading Godly books by God-seeking people (but be sure you do your research first. there are a lot of goats out there, too. yikes.) but we need to make sure the Book that is most quoted, most worn out, most accessible, and most read is God's perfect Word.
so i will keep reading books. :) but whenever the Holy Spirit pricks my heart or i sense that check in my spirit i will immediately line it up to compare it and contrast it with the Word of God. and if something's off... i'm done.
*changing gears*
all that said, tomorrow's a big day in the crane house. it's our first day of homeschooling. mom's a little freaked. :) but excited. i equate it to impending childbirth... you know this is God's plan for you, you think you're ready, you're way so excited picking out stuff for the BIG DAY, you get a little nervous, you feel a little better, you have a complete meltdown in the car, and most days you just wish it would GET HERE ALREADY! :) well, it's tomorrow. the girls have asked what we're gonna do on the first day. i told them we'll hand out books and workbooks, take some time to get to know our classmates, i will need to learn all the students names, etc. :) they thought that was hilarious. :| "no, but moooom, what are we gonna learn first??"
the first thing i would like for them to learn is that God loves them with an everlasting love (jer 31:3) and that He has a super awesome plan for their lives.
the second thing i would like for them to learn is that their mom and daddy love them more than the air we breathe and we will do everything within our power to prove that to them and help them discover God's super awesome plan for their lives.
and then we'll learn math. :)
i hope.
i would be honored, sweet friends, if you would whisper even the slightest prayer for me and my girls tomorrow. i am eagerly anticipating a year of learning, laughing, and loving, peppered with some craziness, floundering about and a little ugly-crying. (and that's just from me. lol) can't wait to see what God has in store for ALL of us this school year and into 2012.
love you so much,
jen
Friday, July 22, 2011
your next big step
when i was growing up i loooooved the indiana jones movies. there were many memorable scenes (mmmmmmmmm...monkey brains) but one of my favorites by FAR was when indy approached a massive cavern and his challenge was to reach the other side. it was obviously humanly impossible for him to do it in his own power and it seemed hopeless that he would get to where he was going. i can relate.
i realize i've been neglectful in blogging lately. several reasons for this, the greatest of which would be that i have had too much going on in my brain and in my heart to even attempt to put it into words. i KNEW that when i started this that i would go through periods of inactivity, unmotivation, procrastination, insecurity, which would inhibit my posting from time to time. i also struggle with determining what may be too private to share with the blogging world. my hubby is an extremely private person - he's not a big fan of blogging - not for any reason other than he feels it exposes too much at times and leaves me vulnerable... he likes to protect me (from myself, mostly. lol) so sometimes (lately, for sure) i have hesitated in my posts - i want to be completely authentic but have felt lately that i wasn't at a point where i could be totally real without risking privacy and shirking submissiveness to my spouse altogether. which is why things have been quiet on the blog front lately. thanks for hanging in there with me. i love that about you. :)
i've been learning lately about how dependent i have been MY WHOLE LIFE on the opinions of others. i make decisions based on what others would think or how THEY would feel. whether it's choosing a parking spot, a line in the grocery store, where to sit in church, when or where i'm going to workout, what i'm going to wear on any given day, etc. it's ridiculous. i'm a people pleasure to the highest degree and while that isn't completely terrible in and of itself, it gets exhausting. i tend to overcommit myself, initially saying yes to everything and everyone, and find myself backing out due to double booking, overcommitment, anxiety, etc. i hate that i do this. hate hate hate it.
we've been praying about something in our house for the past few months. (i'll fill you in on specifics in a bit...) i KNOW that God has placed this in my heart (it is something that i've always said i would NEVER do - love that.), He's given me a vision and a desire to do it, girls are onboard, hubby is fully supportive but there was one thing, primarily, that was holding me back. WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WOULD THINK. how sad is that?
before i go on, that "thing" is that i am going to be homeschooling our girls this next year. and quite possibly the year after that, assuming they don't completely regress in their learning and become blubbering idiots in the next 9 months or so. :) there are NUMEROUS reasons as to why we've chosen this route, the greatest of which is the pure and simple fact that i love my kids, i'm blessed to be able to be home with them, and i am way geeked out over the superfun curriculum we'll be working on this year. :) so now that i've ripped that bandaid clean, let's continue on with the story.
i decided a few days ago that i would send a message to a few people explaining this decision and why we were doing what we were doing. not that they NEEDED to know but i was nervous that they wouldn't approve and wanted to let them know it was not due to our dissatisfaction with the schools, etc. so i start pulling up names on facebook and discover a couple are missing. i did some investigating and came to find out that they had deleted me a few months ago after i had made some political comments with which they didn't agree. (who me?? NOOOOOO...) so here i am, so concerned with others' opinions, the greatest deterrent to me fully committing to a HUGE family decision, discovering that they had taken me off their friends list MONTHS ago. (doesn't that just reek with irony??) i'm not gonna lie - i was hurt (it still stings a little) but i have to respect their decision and their opinion of me just as i would like for others to extend the same kindness to me. i CAN be a bit mouthy at times and i am MOST DEFINITELY resolved in my beliefs so i understand if it's more than people can handle :) my intention is NEVER to offend, never ever.
ok, so i tell that story because God has used that in a HUGE way in my life this week. i've GOT to fix my eyes on HIM and not the huge cloud of witnesses. i MUST throw off everything that hinders me from running this race with perseverance.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." hebrew 12:1-3
there is only ONE opinion that matters. there is only ONE to whom i am ultimately accountable.
so if you think about it, pray for our family as we begin this exciting new chapter in our lives - i welcome any questions and/or comments, especially encouraging ones like "you're awesome" and "i love you" :) i am nervous and excited and freaked out and peacefilled all at one time. and yet CONFIDENT that God has called me to do something crazy scary and nonsensical. *eek*
so back to indiana jones... remember how that scene ended? indy remembers the words of his father and takes a HUGE step of faith, literally sight unseen, onto a giant invisible rock bridge which carries him to the other side. i LOVE that. (ginormous spiritual metaphor, anyone?)
so here we go... let's do those hard things. listen to that still, small nudging in your heart. pray for boldness, fix your eyes on HIM and TAKE THAT STEP.
love you girls
jen
i realize i've been neglectful in blogging lately. several reasons for this, the greatest of which would be that i have had too much going on in my brain and in my heart to even attempt to put it into words. i KNEW that when i started this that i would go through periods of inactivity, unmotivation, procrastination, insecurity, which would inhibit my posting from time to time. i also struggle with determining what may be too private to share with the blogging world. my hubby is an extremely private person - he's not a big fan of blogging - not for any reason other than he feels it exposes too much at times and leaves me vulnerable... he likes to protect me (from myself, mostly. lol) so sometimes (lately, for sure) i have hesitated in my posts - i want to be completely authentic but have felt lately that i wasn't at a point where i could be totally real without risking privacy and shirking submissiveness to my spouse altogether. which is why things have been quiet on the blog front lately. thanks for hanging in there with me. i love that about you. :)
i've been learning lately about how dependent i have been MY WHOLE LIFE on the opinions of others. i make decisions based on what others would think or how THEY would feel. whether it's choosing a parking spot, a line in the grocery store, where to sit in church, when or where i'm going to workout, what i'm going to wear on any given day, etc. it's ridiculous. i'm a people pleasure to the highest degree and while that isn't completely terrible in and of itself, it gets exhausting. i tend to overcommit myself, initially saying yes to everything and everyone, and find myself backing out due to double booking, overcommitment, anxiety, etc. i hate that i do this. hate hate hate it.
we've been praying about something in our house for the past few months. (i'll fill you in on specifics in a bit...) i KNOW that God has placed this in my heart (it is something that i've always said i would NEVER do - love that.), He's given me a vision and a desire to do it, girls are onboard, hubby is fully supportive but there was one thing, primarily, that was holding me back. WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WOULD THINK. how sad is that?
before i go on, that "thing" is that i am going to be homeschooling our girls this next year. and quite possibly the year after that, assuming they don't completely regress in their learning and become blubbering idiots in the next 9 months or so. :) there are NUMEROUS reasons as to why we've chosen this route, the greatest of which is the pure and simple fact that i love my kids, i'm blessed to be able to be home with them, and i am way geeked out over the superfun curriculum we'll be working on this year. :) so now that i've ripped that bandaid clean, let's continue on with the story.
i decided a few days ago that i would send a message to a few people explaining this decision and why we were doing what we were doing. not that they NEEDED to know but i was nervous that they wouldn't approve and wanted to let them know it was not due to our dissatisfaction with the schools, etc. so i start pulling up names on facebook and discover a couple are missing. i did some investigating and came to find out that they had deleted me a few months ago after i had made some political comments with which they didn't agree. (who me?? NOOOOOO...) so here i am, so concerned with others' opinions, the greatest deterrent to me fully committing to a HUGE family decision, discovering that they had taken me off their friends list MONTHS ago. (doesn't that just reek with irony??) i'm not gonna lie - i was hurt (it still stings a little) but i have to respect their decision and their opinion of me just as i would like for others to extend the same kindness to me. i CAN be a bit mouthy at times and i am MOST DEFINITELY resolved in my beliefs so i understand if it's more than people can handle :) my intention is NEVER to offend, never ever.
ok, so i tell that story because God has used that in a HUGE way in my life this week. i've GOT to fix my eyes on HIM and not the huge cloud of witnesses. i MUST throw off everything that hinders me from running this race with perseverance.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." hebrew 12:1-3
there is only ONE opinion that matters. there is only ONE to whom i am ultimately accountable.
so if you think about it, pray for our family as we begin this exciting new chapter in our lives - i welcome any questions and/or comments, especially encouraging ones like "you're awesome" and "i love you" :) i am nervous and excited and freaked out and peacefilled all at one time. and yet CONFIDENT that God has called me to do something crazy scary and nonsensical. *eek*
so back to indiana jones... remember how that scene ended? indy remembers the words of his father and takes a HUGE step of faith, literally sight unseen, onto a giant invisible rock bridge which carries him to the other side. i LOVE that. (ginormous spiritual metaphor, anyone?)
so here we go... let's do those hard things. listen to that still, small nudging in your heart. pray for boldness, fix your eyes on HIM and TAKE THAT STEP.
love you girls
jen
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