Friday, May 27, 2011

i'm abnormal. and i like it. :)

earlier this week, makenna, my 5th grader, asked if she could go to the movies this friday night with a friend. i asked if her parents were going and to which movie they would be going. she wasn't sure so she said she would find out and let me know. i realized this morning that i hadn't heard an update so i asked her about the movies tonight and what the plan might be. she said "oh, i'm not going." and i asked why? she said "i dont want to go. well, i WANT to go but they are just being dropped off and they're going to see 'something borrowed'."

ok now, is it just me or is this HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE for 5th graders to be dropped off at the movie theater, not to mention going to see a movie where the main premise is a girl who steals her "best friend's" fiancee and proceeds to have a secret sexual relationship with him?!??? ummm, WHAT?? and can i just say how PROUD i am of my daughter?? i have to be honest with you, back in the day, i probably would have "forgotten" to mention the absence of parental supervision or the movie of choice... and then i think about their "role models" today - rihanna, britney spears, katy perry, ke$ha (a dollar sign? really?) lady gaga... my heart literally aches for these girls right now. (both our girls AND the "role models") am i overreacting or are these feelings justified? (honestly, it doesn't matter what the consensus is, i'm sticking to my guns here.) it is up to US, as parents, to protect our babies' hearts and minds for as long as possible - call me old fashioned, call me a fuddy-duddy, but i refuse to subject her to the CRAP that our culture claims is "okay" and "normal". i pride myself on being abnormal and i am striving for that with my sweet girls, too. :)

hang in there, moms (and dads!) we can do this!


Saturday, May 21, 2011

so freaking excited!

seriously, i can hardly contain myself! i keep pulling my husband over to the computer screen to show him my newest layout or blog button. i don't understand why he's not nearly as impressed as i am. :| i am officially in love with my blog again! this time thanks to a most fabulous site that i found courtesy of my sweet friend christine's blog and it is now one of my new favorites - - some of the cutest FREEEEEEEE (sing with me...) layouts, buttons, etc. i've ever seen! (ok, STILL trying to figure out links. bear with me...)

also, another thing i am SO FREAKING EXCITED about are a few of the contacts i've made in the blogosphere, just through browsing and commenting. there are so many AWESOME girls out there. i'm just blown away. come to think of it, one of my favorite people is a girl i met via her blog during the 2008 election who then invited me to write some for her blog and we are now good friends. i've never met her in person but we are confident we will meet this side of Heaven. (and if not, we will be SURE to get mansions on the same golden street.)

another thing i am SO FREAKING EXCITED about today is the opportunity to celebrate my sweet friend, amelia peterson, at her graduation/see-ya-later party today. talking about God bringing people together, i met this darling girl at our church and we immediately bonded. she is originally from zimbabwe and has the coolest accent so i could just sit and listen to her for hours. :) and she gives the BEST hugs :) she has been one of the MOST authentic, genuinely encouraging sisters in Christ i have ever met. i think it's just AWESOME that God would allow two people to move 1000s of miles (literally!) to converge upon valparaiso, indiana at just the right time in history and become fast friends. i love you amelia (and mudiwa!), and KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we are now FAMILY and will be forever. love you girl.

that is all for today, my friends - again, let me know what you think of the changes and if you have any additional tips i would LOVE to hear them. :) i'm new here.

enjoy your saturday, dearies :)


Thursday, May 19, 2011

so whaddya think?!? :)

doesn't it make you want to eat cotton candy??

i realize it may be a bit overwhelming, what with all the girliness, but it is still a work in progress (kind of a metaphor for life, is it not? lol) i found the MOST fabulous websites today - i believe i linked them up to the right of this post (or the left? good gravy...) the first is and it has the most adorable backgrounds, blog buttons, etc. for FREEEEEE! (yes, i am throwing my head back and singing that word right now. it feels so good.) the other is a way cool blog by a girl in utah who designs fancy artsy stuff (i'm not describing it very well - i highly recommend you NOT take my word for it and check it out yourself.) find her blog at if i had the ability to put to paper all the fun thoughts in my head, her stuff is what it would look like. :) she's good.

as my new favorite blog addition says "if you are here, you are awesome" :) that pretty much wraps up my sentiment towards you all. as busy moms, i KNOW your time is precious and short and i can't tell you what it means to me that you would drop by and waste some of it on me :) have a wonderful evening and rejoice in the fact that tomorrow is FRIDAAAAAAYYYY!! (yes. again with the singing.)

love you girls!

pardon the mess

i got the bright idea to start piddling around with the design and layout of the blog and now i don't know what the heck i'm doing... :) so for the next few days, please excuse the changes while i explore the wide world of web design :)


Wednesday, May 18, 2011

feeling inspired

i realize i've allowed the blog to kinda slip off my radar for a couple weeks. i should have made a disclaimer at the onset of this adventure that this was not gonna be one of those blogs that you follow every day :) but i have recently been motivated to persevere even through the uglies. that if this is going to be a truly authentic reflection of my life i would HAVE to continue on, even when i didn't feel like it.

i still wrestle with the idea of being completely transparent - SURELY you have no desire to be subjected to ALL the craziness rattling around in there :) my sweet friend, alisha, who has her own amazing, fantabulous blog at, inspired me to just get it out there (girl, i still don't know how to put a link in the body of my posts. someone help me here. lol. i put her "button" under my favorite blogs links to the right of this post.) and i have come to the realization that i'm not gonna do this blog just for YOU. it's for me, too. that, heaven forbid, i write something that ticks someone off or (shudder) causes them to "unfollow" my blog but if i am to continue on in this, i have to risk that. isn't that the heart of true relationship anyway?? putting it all out on the table and allowing the other to either take it all or walk away? you will either love me for who i am or you won't. my whole life i have tried to conform myself to fit the expectations of others - to be who i thought they would want me to be - and i'm flat out tired of it.

i'm going through a bit of a refining process right now - breaking my dependence on people and focusing on Jesus to be my primary source of encouragement and stability. i have weaned myself off of my antidepressants (as i have a couple times in the past when i felt God was leading me to do so) and my emotions feel sharper, heightened, deeper. i feel good. i will elaborate more on this process and my feelings towards antidepressants (which are positive, i might add) in a later post.

so for today, i'm going to leave you with this thought. BE REAL. be who you are. ask God to continue to shape you into the person HE wants you to be. to fulfill His purposes for your life, whether they "make sense" or not. i'm done with trying to "make sense" of things. :) sometimes they just don't. embrace it, go with it, lean into it. TRUST HIM.

love you more than you know...


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

long time, no type

what's up ladies :) can i please apologize for not getting anything on the blog lately? i should have made a disclaimer at the beginning of this endeavor that this wasn't gonna be one of those blogs that you follow on a daily basis. i'm not that motivated. :) it's about 63% procrastination, 17% laziness, 8% pseudo-perfectionism (if it ain't perfect, it ain't getting done), 5% busy-ness, and 7% forgetfulness. :) so as long as we're all clear that this isn't one of those well-maintained, perfectly polished blogs then we can all carry on and be comfortable with who we are. lol :)

honestly, today is one of those days where you wake up and your hormones are already dictating your agenda. i had a fabulous, FABULOUS, day yesterday with my sweet hubby. listen girls, don't get me wrong, there are ABSOLUTELY days (weeks, even) where we get on each others' ever-lovin last nerve. but i can say, without hesitation, that the man that God sent into my life 1 month after my 22nd birthday is without a DOUBT my soulmate and my best friend. all that to say, i still woke up this morning feeling like dung. not necessarily physically or spiritually but just worn out before the day even started (does ANYONE know what i'm talking about here?) i snapped at my kids a couple times and started fixating on all the things that haven't been done, need to get done, lack of time, lack of funds, and on and on... i got on the scale and that didn't help ONE BIT. i've started exercising more regularly and i LOVE it but it sure would be nice to see some results. i am making every attempt at placing my love for God over my love of food but it's hard cause i love them both SO MUCH :) i should also mention that over the past couple weeks i have been weaning myself off of my antidepressants and this definitely may have a role in the situation. not to mention it's PMS week and that, in and of itself, is enough to swiftly drive everything downhill FAST. :/ so today has been kind of the perfect storm and yet, i'm okay. i took my daughter to the allergist this morning and had a great conversation with her about hormones and boys and standing out from her friends and being different. i wandered around walgreens while waiting for her prescription and walked down the candy aisle unscathed. and then i narrowly, but successfully!, avoided the mcdonald's drive-thru in an attempt to make it all feel better :) i've taken several deep breaths and offered up more than a few prayers on my behalf. and through it all, i've been reminded again at how gradually, yet surely, God can change a heart. that personal growth is a process and a slow one at that. that i can have these bad days, admit them freely, and MOVE ON. i'm feeling better already and it's not even noon yet. :) this to me, is a GREAT sign. i've oftentimes started the day with a crummy mood and then followed it all the way into a deep, dark funk. you know the funk. she ain't pretty. :/ so let me encourage you friends - if you're feeling a little "funky" today, that's ok. your feelings and emotions are completely valid and you are NOT a bad mom. :) allow yourself to submit to the refining process knowing that there is a greater good at work here.

tomorrow (or the next day if we're really being honest here. lol) i want to get into the whole antidepressant discussion - again, i am no medical expert, i can only give you my story and what i feel God has impressed upon my heart for MY situation and, in doing so, pray that it will encourage you to seek out His good and perfect will for your life as well.

"and i pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have POWER, together with all the saints, to grasp how WIDE and LONG and HIGH and DEEP is the love of Christ, and to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be FILLED to the measure of ALL the fullness of God."

ephesians 3:17-19 (emphasis mine)

my, how i wish i could give each of you a big squeezy hug right now (selfishly cause i need a lot of squeezy hugs today. lol) but mostly because i love each of you, some sight unseen, with a deep and genuine affection through our bond of mommyhood, womanhood, and sisterhood :) have a beautiful, blessed day sweet girls.

hugs (big squeezy ones!)

p.s. for those of you who added up the percentages at the beginning of this post to make sure they totaled 100% i love you most! LOL! :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

i just gotta say something else :)

i would like to respectfully submit an addendum to yesterday's post :) i understand we may have opposing views regarding this topic and i honor that. i just want us to be clear that this is NOT a spiritual maturity issue - i am firm and confident in what i believe and what i feel God has laid on MY heart and for that i will not apologize. if you are offended, it breaks my heart but i have to trust that you have come to terms with what God has laid on YOUR heart and reconciled yourself to that. we are HUMAN. we will NEVER have the answers we are so desperately needing here on earth. but, one day, one glorious day, ALL will be made clear and we will no longer see through a glass darkly but will then see face to face. this is my hope and my song. thank you Jesus for saving a wretch like me.

yes, Jesus commands us to love our enemies, to turn our cheek, to forgive 70 times 7. i understand that Jesus' death and resurrection frees us from the law of the Old Testament but does it also discount the stories of abraham, joseph, moses, and david?? david, the only man in scripture to be referred to as a "man after God's own heart", killed tens of thousands of men, in addition to his infamous victory over goliath. there were shouts of joy and jubilation when david killed the giant (with a blow to the head, i might add), cut off his head and brought it to saul. i realize this is tough to stomach, it seems very harsh, but it's in the Bible - it was a God-ordained VICTORY. believing that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, is it not feasible that He could ordain another victory in a similar fashion? the beauty of the Bible is that it is not to be completely understood - there are seemingly numerous contradictions held within - but i believe with every ounce of my being that it is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness. in our humanness, we cannot make sense of all of it. and God recognizes this. but, in that, i KNOW that ALL OF IT is TRUE and i TRUST that one day it WILL all make sense. the Holy Trinity, the Godhead three in one, is something we cannot rationalize in our human brains. that God is a consuming fire and a compassionate Father is hard to comprehend. that Jesus would speak such harsh, seemingly condemning words to the pharisees and the sadducees (see the Gospel of John) and then command us to love our enemies is tough to reconcile. but i TRUST in His goodness and His love for me and the rest of the filth of the world, of which i am the worst. i will not be boasting in this one man's death but i am extremely grateful that we live in a country that is well-protected by honorable men and women who willingly and selflessly give their lives and their livelihoods in defense of us and our children. i am thankful for a husband who, as his vocation, risks his life for the life of others and is trained to do what needs to be done in order to fulfill his commitment to his country. i pray every day for his protection which is why i am so insanely passionate about this.

love you girls and i respect differing opinions because i know that God speaks to each of us individually and in different ways. it is not my intent to try to persuade you to believe otherwise, or to influence you to think as i think (what an obnoxious world that would be. lol) just felt led to share my heart with you all. be blessed today - hug your babies a little tighter today - and know that i love you with all my heart :)


Monday, May 2, 2011

i just gotta say something :)

ok, it was totally my intention to make this a politically neutral zone but this is something about which i am so insanely passionate that i cannot help but comment. :)

i am not celebrating the death of a man, i am celebrating the victory of a nation. if there was ever a man who qualified as "evil", who has repeatedly mocked the very nature and being of the Almighty God, slaughtering thousands of people in the name of his impotent, dead god, it is OBL. (i will not take the time to type out his name.) while it is shameful that in one instant, one bullet, everything to which he dedicated his life was destroyed and he was given over to an eternal destiny of pain and suffering (much like that which he inflicted upon thousands of americans on several occasions - 1993 world trade center bombing, 2000 uss cole bombing in yemen, september 11th, 2001) that was the consequence of the choices OBL made, repeatedly, insolently, shamelessly. justice IS the LORD'S and He can use whichever means He deems necessary to exact that justice. YES, we should pray feverishly for the lost. YES, we should make every attempt to fulfill the great commission and make disciples of ALL nations (even those who hate us and mock us and kill us) but as a woman who is passionate about her beloved country, thankful to her family members who have so graciously and selflessly served in defense of her, and as a mother who wants nothing more than a safe and free country for her children in which to live, i cannot help but feel gratitude that we have closed this chapter in our nation's history. pray without ceasing for God's powerful hand of protection over our nation and her people, wisdom for our leaders and love for each other. Lord Jesus, come quickly!