Wednesday, May 18, 2011

feeling inspired

i realize i've allowed the blog to kinda slip off my radar for a couple weeks. i should have made a disclaimer at the onset of this adventure that this was not gonna be one of those blogs that you follow every day :) but i have recently been motivated to persevere even through the uglies. that if this is going to be a truly authentic reflection of my life i would HAVE to continue on, even when i didn't feel like it.

i still wrestle with the idea of being completely transparent - SURELY you have no desire to be subjected to ALL the craziness rattling around in there :) my sweet friend, alisha, who has her own amazing, fantabulous blog at, inspired me to just get it out there (girl, i still don't know how to put a link in the body of my posts. someone help me here. lol. i put her "button" under my favorite blogs links to the right of this post.) and i have come to the realization that i'm not gonna do this blog just for YOU. it's for me, too. that, heaven forbid, i write something that ticks someone off or (shudder) causes them to "unfollow" my blog but if i am to continue on in this, i have to risk that. isn't that the heart of true relationship anyway?? putting it all out on the table and allowing the other to either take it all or walk away? you will either love me for who i am or you won't. my whole life i have tried to conform myself to fit the expectations of others - to be who i thought they would want me to be - and i'm flat out tired of it.

i'm going through a bit of a refining process right now - breaking my dependence on people and focusing on Jesus to be my primary source of encouragement and stability. i have weaned myself off of my antidepressants (as i have a couple times in the past when i felt God was leading me to do so) and my emotions feel sharper, heightened, deeper. i feel good. i will elaborate more on this process and my feelings towards antidepressants (which are positive, i might add) in a later post.

so for today, i'm going to leave you with this thought. BE REAL. be who you are. ask God to continue to shape you into the person HE wants you to be. to fulfill His purposes for your life, whether they "make sense" or not. i'm done with trying to "make sense" of things. :) sometimes they just don't. embrace it, go with it, lean into it. TRUST HIM.

love you more than you know...



  1. My address is 895 N 104 W, Chesterton IN 46304. I haven't had time to read lately anyway, but when I get the book I'll make time! Been a crazy month & getting crazier each day. By the way, loved the pic of your little Laney in the Chesterton Trib last night for the Liberty Walk-A-thon. The camera just loves that little sweetie!

  2. Jen, thanks so much for always finding time to put your thoughts on here; they are always so motivating! Have a blessed day!!

  3. Here ya go sweetheart. ;)

  4. To add a link in your post: when you are writing your post, highlight the word(s) you want to have as the link, then find the word link right in that little toolbar above where you are typing, click LINK. A new box will open and give you some options. The actual link is the URL of where you want the word your readers click to go to...such as BLOG GUIDEBOOK will be highlighted and you would copy and paste the URL from your browser's nav bar: Then hit save. It will add the link for you. It's very easy. If you have problems let me know. Maybe we need a phone conference!

  5. I enjoyed reading your blog! I heard about it through a mutual choir buddy, Renee Royal. It is great to get connected again, you were always a joy to talk to. :)

  6. Beautiful post. I love how real it is. I identify with so much of what your are saying...aligning our lives with god, finding joy, embracing the journey, living honestly. I love the concept of your blog...i look really look forward to becoming blogging/Facebook friends!

    p.s. Thanks for saying such nice, unexpected stuff about me! Wow...sure makes a girl feel good ;)